Why Your Friends Should Be Jealous If You’re 30-Something And Single

If being single in your thirties wasn’t part of your original plan, don’t worry. It is often the best things in life that aren’t planned. It’s time to cut through all the hype surrounding being thirty-something and single, because while some movies, TV shows, and magazines eagerly depict the plight of the single thirty-something woman, many of those women are having the time of their lives. Here are some of the best things about being single in your thirties...

• Single in your twenties versus thirties – In your twenties, it’s common to feel as if you have all the time in the world to discover, adventure, experiment, explore and live carefree. There’s less pressure to decide what you want in terms of career, marriage and children and more resiliency when it comes to bouncing back from mistakes. When it comes to dating, society expects twenty-somethings to take chances, to go out and meet different people, taking their time on settling down. After all, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, so why rush it?
  
  But once you hit your thirties, you soon realize society’s expectations and those of your friends and family are quite different. Thirty-something and single might have sounded like your worst nightmare ten years ago, but now it could sound like freedom and independence.
• A better idea of who you are – Gaining independence from parents and knowledge about yourself begins in adolescence, but discovering who you are tends to happen later. In your twenties you tend to have less perspective. It’s easier to make poor decisions that may not reflect who you really are inside.
  
  Everyone’s journey is different. You’ve likely made mistakes and learned from them. You’ve passed the age when the influence of your peers is stronger and reached a phase in life when you’re more capable to think for yourself.
  
  Even things like dating and falling in love in your thirties can mean finding a partner with a lifestyle, values and plans for the future that better match your own.
• A better idea of what you want – What you want in a partner when you’re in your twenties will probably be different from what you want when you’re in your thirties. Some couples are able to grow together from youth to middle-age. Many don’t and their relationships end. A benefit to being single in your thirties is that you have a better idea of what you want in a partner.
  
  In your twenties you tend to focus on the superficial and the rush. While those factors are still important to thirty-somethings, you may start looking deeper when considering a partner. Most thirty-somethings have had a good amount of dating experience. Through trial and error you can learn what to accept in a partner.
  
  In your thirties you’re more likely to be armed with the knowledge of what you want and are less likely to settle for partners that don’t meet the criteria. That said, your mental list of wants has been narrowed down to the essentials and you’re less likely to have deal breakers than you were in your twenties.
• Less games – When you’re in your twenties the dating rules and games are typically in full effect. Constantly not knowing where you stand might be thrilling when you’re young, but as you get older you value security more.
  
  It’s not that dating in your thirties holds no excitement, but a lot of the game-playing from your twenties should be gone. That’s because people in their thirties are less focused on playing the field just for fun and are more focused on finding long-term relationships. Many men in their thirties and forties are ready to settle down.

Remember, life experiences make you wiser and less willing to compromise what you really what. Use that to your advantage and you’ll enjoy being single in your thirties, maybe even more than you thought possible.